Planning My New Life

Photo credit
In January 2000 I was in such despair.  I was so longing to be a mother and didn’t believe it was going to happen.  I also knew I wanted to be at home with my baby, but I didn’t see how that could ever be possible.  I cried out to God, and though change was difficult, I took many those baby steps, clarified my deep desires, and wrote down my needs. 

First I answered two questions, “If I could live the most joyous and fulfilling life I could imagine, what would it consist of?” and “If my life ended in year xx, what would I regret not having or doing?”

  • A healthy marriage
  • A baby
  • A very part-time job helping people and helping at church
  • Spending time with my parents with my baby
  • Time and money spent creating a happy, comfortable home
  • Morning walks
  • Reading and just being time
  • An hour a day to read and pray
I made a list of how to begin (and this time the list was used!).  It consisted of career counseling, eliminating debt, eliminating clutter, giving up a dream that was an illusion, getting out of a group that had people and an agenda that drained me, learning to cook, and creating time to work on my new home.

photo credit
What I truly needed was:
  • Sunshine – I absolutely craved it
  • Cats/kittens
  • Healthy marriage
  • An income
  • Enough food
  • Laughter
  • A cozy home
  • A bond with God
 And then I wrote that my private aspiration was not time with cats and kittens, but to have children.  I was just so sure it wouldn’t happen that I had to nurture cats instead.

Two years later my life changed drastically.  I soon met my husband, and three years after that my son was finally born.  I haven’t been able to have more children, and had a hard time accepting it, but now I have, and enjoy each day with my only son and try never to rush through things.

I also wrote in detail how I wanted my dream day to flow – and here I am many years later looking at my “perfect” daily schedule – and most of the way I planned it is how I am living my life today.

baby photo credit: http://www.rch.org.au/ecconnections/publications/index.cfm?doc_id=11285

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